When You Realize It’s Not You But It’s You

imageDifficult people and situations are a constant part of the life cycle.  It’s just a fact of life.   Even though I know and embrace that less than ideal circumstances can present themselves at any moment, it still takes work to overcome the habit of allowing the negative situations to pull me down like sinking sand.  I have all of the tools to overcome said circumstances right in my back pocket, but I still have to make a conscious effort to utilize those tools.  I was open and free for a very long time, right into young adulthood, and one day, after someone called me irresponsible for just doing me,  I made a choice to be “more responsible and conscientious”, but all that equaled up to was me being the ultimate worrier and an uptight bitch.  I had to be purposeful about relearning to let go, and as much as I’ve mastered my personal mechanisms for living in the present, I still have to be vigilant about relapse.  Enter my method of dealing with frustrating experiences.

imageThis whole matter of dealing with entities that test patience came about because I have a person in my life that I care for deeply, but they have one characteristic that feels like a thorn in my side because it directly affects some aspects of my life.  The person refuses to remain in communication in times when communication is a must.   Under some circumstances, it can be dangerous.  The issue isn’t some thing that’s just a matter of preference for me, it’s something that has to be in place for a whole system, with a lot of moving parts to work.  Up until now, the person’s refusal to make that accommodation has cost me some things that I was able to recover, and although things work out, the entire chain of events is completely unnecessary and I’ve reached the end of the line in accepting it.  I was lost in a whirlwind of being pissed and trying to figure out what’s wrong with that person.  How could they put up a brick wall about an issue that seems completely rational and fall into the realm of common sense and common courtesy?  More frustrations came because I know that the person will communicate and acknowledge communication when it’s something that’s important to them.  They make it happen when it serves them.  I went into the act of calling them self-centered because well, they act in a self-serving way.  That’s when it hit me to call up the things that I have in my repertoire for dealing with situations like these.

One of the best defenses I have against the not so easy things that come my way, is to imageconsciously look at those entities as teachers.  Each and every one of them.  Admittedly, it’s very difficult to look at the lesson as you’re going through something, but the fact is, once you submit to the thing you’re trying to “get through” that thing will start to pass.  The Universe hears your willingness to surrender the issue and in response it say, “Good.  You got it.  Lesson learned.  Let’s move on to the next thing that’ll make you better”.  Although everything’s vibration is different, I generally see things as all being on a level playing field, so if what I encounter feels bad to me, I start checking MYSELF.

imageIf it’s a person that’s making me feel unhappy about their behavior, I might go through the motions of “venting” my frustrations about the person, but I ultimately come back to the same place: ME.  I ask myself, what about their behavior is a reflection of me?  What about their behavior is actually holding me hostage?  Usually the answers to those questions are that the behavior that’s pissing me off or causing me inconvenience is a true reflection of Simone.  Whether it’s Simone at present or in the past, it’s Simone, it’s me.  I’ve either been guilty of the behavior or I’m doing the same thing to someone else in the present and I’m not a hostage at all.  I’m a willing participant who has, whether consciously or unconsciously, given over my power to something outside of myself.  I would be lying if I didn’t say that it sucks to realize that you who actually sucks, but that’s how the lessons have to come from time to time.  It means that I needed to get bitch slapped by the universe to recognize something that needed to change in me i.e. the teacher smacking down a lesson that I refused to accept the first time or two (or more) it was presented.

This brings me back to the earlier point, I have to look at everything as equal, at least in the beginning.  I do it with my children, my co-parent, my family, friends, my car, EVERYTHING.  It’s like I start at the same baseline to climb toward solution.  Or at the very least, it puts me in a place of letting the Creator have it so the lesson can be downloaded and I can move on to the next thing.

I immediately felt relief about my difficult person when I said to myself that I’ve done all that I can, I see how I can act that way, I’ve accepted that I can’t behave that way anymore and since I’ve expressed my dissatisfaction with the behavior, I have no problem removing myself and the person from being apart of the system that I referenced earlier.  At that point of realization, any other ill feelings that I have are all on me.  The truth that I stand on currently, is enough to be confident in any decisions I make about the entire situation from here on out.  My decisions are only questionable if I distort the through truth through going too hard on trying to figure out why the person “acts that way”.  That’s their problem and if they have consequences because of it, then so be it.

Just put your sunglasses on...
Just put your sunglasses on…

So…I’m not mad about what’s happened, I’m just more aware of how I’ve acted in a similar way, come to terms with it, and stop doing it.

Hopefully this resonates with you at the start of a new week.  Maybe it’ll help you be prepared for the things that get on your nerves.  Realize that it’s you, not them.  You only have you to control, and you can still be great through the not so great times.  Just take the lesson from the beginning and roll with that.

2 thoughts on “When You Realize It’s Not You But It’s You

  1. Self reflection is always important. Allowing someone to live rent free in your mind is unacceptable. It is uber mature of the affected individual to perform a self examination. Once you have decided what is best for you, action is the next step. I enjoy reading your work

    Liked by 1 person

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