That’s what I’m suppose to say, right? At least that’s what I tell myself so that I can make it the truth. I do that a lot, I tell myself the positive to drown out the negative. Pour some love on it is my motto. For me, it keeps me from losing focus on both my short-term and long-term goals. It stops my tendency towards worry and over analyzing, plus it’s more fun to seek out the good. If I’m too busy looking for the good, then I don’t have time to dwell on the not so good.
One of the reasons that I’ve chosen to work for myself is that I wanted to shift my idea of what a Monday really is. It doesn’t serve me to look at this one day of the week as something trying to attack me. It’s just another day in my book. But, just like the rest of the world, I do, for the most part, have to function on a Monday through Friday, 9-5 schedule and I don’t like to. For one, I don’t like to “have to” do anything, and two, I’m a creative person with a specific process for accomplishing even the most mundane day to day activities and the 9-5, M-F thing doesn’t work for my innate course of action. I use to beat myself up for being this way and not really being great at keeping a hardcore schedule, but hey it’s the truth and it’s one of the things that makes me Simone. Instead of losing time to being upset about it, I chose to truly recognize what my personal “process” is and from there figure out my options. When I know what my choices are, then I know how to move.
I need at least an hour on each side of any project or task I start so that I can pause and start my Spotify, get snacks, use my hands as I sing along to a Hiatus Kaiyote song (shout out to Breathing Underwater), rap hard to a Nas song (all of Illmatic),and whatever other random thing (totally space out on whether I should cut my hair or not) that gets me settled and ready to work. Procrastination is my man these days, so I have to accommodate him in order for my “flow” to stay moving, which means that I need to be able to work whenever inspiration calls. Yep, I’m one of those people and I own it.
I also want to eventually take full control of my boys’ education through home schooling, and that will require a 24/7 commitment just like my writing and artwork does. Ultimately, I want the freedom to control the weather and the time in The Shy Peacock’s world, and I know it’s possible just because I want it to be.
In order to do that, I had to be strategic, not only in my physical movement, but in my thinking and my feelings. We’re always told that we can’t control our feelings, and that may be true, but that says nothing of being able to control our reactions and behaviors that result from those feelings. In my mind, it’s an excuse, or even laziness (unless there’s a legit mental imbalance) to say that I couldn’t help the way that I reacted to something I don’t like. At least that’s how it is for me. I know that I’m pretty calculated in how I respond to things, and when I’ve lost it on someone or something, I was pretty clear right beforehand on what I would say or do. My responses have been, and still are, pretty purposeful.
And that, my friends, is why I chose to refer to today at the Monday get down. It’s purposeful and calculated. I determine the amount of love I plan to pour on each day and I reach for that. I was told once, in so many words, that it’s pointless to try to change something you don’t want by getting rid of it, but it’s better to add more of what you do want, i.e. pour some love on the things that you hate. I’ll go a step further with that thought and say that I look at things from the perspective of fear and love. Any ill feeling is an iteration of fear and any feeling that falls in the opposite category is a version of love. So I choose love no matter how hard it is. The light drives away the dark no matter what, right?
Back to Mondays…while I’m still building my Shy Peacock universe, I handle Mondays by thinking about the wonderful weekend I just had either doing exactly what I felt like doing sans children, or the fun I had with them while not having to worry about a strict schedule. I plan as much as I can see myself actually doing and if that changes then cool. I’m speaking my world into existence at all times and I don’t want the Universe to hear the wrong thing so I have to filter my feelings and thoughts through a positive lenses.
How do you handle Mondays?
Let’s discuss in the comments below 🙂