A Tribute To My Sarcastic Mouth

Last night I watched the BET Awards…I’m not even sure of how to finish that sentence.

Ok, I’ll try again.  Last night I turned on the BET Awards to watch Tracee Ellis Ross (my spirit animal), Kendrick Lamar, Janelle Monae, Janet Jackson, and the Badboy reunion.  I hesitated initially because I have a super duper smart ass mouth and I take notice of EVERY LITTLE THING and there was a lot to take in during that three and a half hour show. It gets exhausting because I process all of the things that I notice and I could quite possibly write a book on each one of those “items”.  Plus, I actually have a conscious, so I make myself feel bad for even having a not so pleasant response and there begins a cycle of me beating myself up about being well…sarcastic.

sarcastic friend

Instead of continuing in that circle of nothingness, I decided to take my own advice about embracing all of the parts of me and I decided to write about being sarcastic and being ok with it.

So here we go 🙂

I know that I have a smart mouth and I say what I think, inappropriately at times, but I’m ok with it.  I even like it.  For the most part at least.  I get to the bottom of things quickly and I think it makes my mother proud of me.

If you need some irreverent observation about a situation while the situation is actually happening…then I’m your girl.

If you need a quick, witty remark to lighten the mood, I got you.

If you want a swift, accurate appraisal a person or situation without the utterance of a word, then I’m the person for you.

I’d like to thank the generations of women in my family that provided a healthy dose of “get over yourself” on a daily basis.  Even toward the children, which in my opinion led to especially entertaining experiences called public school, college, jobs, children, LIFE.  I specifically honor my grandmother, who on more than one occasion, asked an unassuming female grocery store cashier if her wig or weave was in fact hers.  Of course with a couple of “honeys” and “babys” thrown in there to lighten the blow of the question/accusation/assertion.  Remarkably not one ever seemed to be offended.

I remember, as a kid, having a perpetual sense that most people were dumb because they would laugh at things that seemed idiotic and became serious about things that weren’t that important in the grand scheme of things.  There were times that I just couldn’t understand, what to me, looked like incorrect reactions and a fall into absurdity.  You could count on a well-placed eye roll to a friend’s overreaction to something that seemed like common sense to me.

Let me say, at this point in this post, to my childhood and adulthood friends to zip it…I know I have overreactions that you roll your eyes at…often…..I own it…it’s just that we’re not talking about me right now J

Now back to the original point about my past (and some present day) sarcasm, I am reformed (slightly) from the idea that most people are dumb.  I prefer to defer to the idea that people are people, to each his own, etc. etc. so these days my reactions to the things that would’ve normally garnered a sarcastic dismissal have lessened.  For the most part. Slightly.

This attribute has made it a little difficult to survive as an employee.  Especially if I was clear on the fact that my boss was a bumbling idiot and I had no doubt that what he/she was telling me was incorrect.  It’s a miracle that I’ve never been fired for insubordination.  I’d also like to thank one of my uncles for that attribute 😉

One of my longstanding woes once told me, “Whatever comes to your mind comes out of your mouth.  Verbatim fool!”  I realize what I’m referring to here may be more of being blunt, but in my life, bluntness and sarcasm are one in the same.

Yep…I’m the one who asks the question everyone has on their mind which is not always the best thing…when one of my friends, who had perpetually reminded us that she didn’t have a man announced she was pregnant, without a second thought I asked “By who?” 😦 I put the sad face to acknowledge that it probably wasn’t the best idea to ask in the presence of a group but not for wanting to know.  And there it goes again…I really can’t help myself at times when it comes to the sarcasm and bluntness but I honestly do cringe at that particular encounter.

Plus, once you’ve reached the age of 30 or above, your real life friend list is pretty much set and me being the ripe old age of 33, I think I’m good.  The friends that have survived The Mouth are either saints or if I’m really honest, are equally, if not more blunt or sarcastic than me at times.  They have the advantage of an off switch, better timing, and good sense I guess.

All in all, despite the undesirable moments or situations that my mouth created I feel that the good outweighs the bad.

My inbred sarcasm has led to me being able to think critically in almost any situations.

My skills of discernment are scarily accurate.

I’m funny as hell and I think my friends trust my opinions and assessments. I hope at least.

My boys are pretty adept at the witty remarks, especially the second one.  So I’m satisfied with their development in that regard.

If I ever have a daughter, I’d hope she’d be the irreverent comic relief in her group of friends.  That’d be one of my top 5 wishes for a mini Simone.

Are you the sarcastic one of your group?  If so, tell me about it.  Fill the comments section UP because I know I’m not the only one lol.

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